Berry Parfaits, and How Children Succeed

Here's a simple treat that was Part II of Lila's birthday celebrations, this time with her classmates and teachers in the daycare center. When I mentioned that I was bringing treats to Lila's class, it led to an interesting discussion with two of my quilting friends (both of whom happen to be much older than me).You see, they assumed that I would bring in cupcakes with frosting and sprinkles and I had to explain that we're in an era when cupcakes (and other sugary treats like cookies, candy and juice) are banned from her school, along with nuts (allergy concerns) and grapes, popcorn (choking hazards) among other things. And you can just forget about the frosting and the sprinkles.

My friends rolled their eyes a little- no cake for kids; that's just sad, they said. I could almost hear them sighing in relief that they raised their kids in simpler times before the food police came into power. Listen, I get what they're saying, and I also get what the school is trying to do. Being a parent or a teacher is a tough job because you're always trying to strike a balance and do the right thing (without there being any consensus on what the "right thing" is).

Desserts in moderation, to be enjoyed on special occasions- I'm completely on board with that, and my child gets to enjoy sweet treats. You bet I'll bake her a cake for her birthday. Rather than labeling foods as "good" and "bad", I hope to help her develop a positive relationship with food. Rather than banning sugar and thereby making it a "forbidden fruit" that she seeks out when she's away from my supervision, I try to encourage a taste for wholesome food so she ends up preferring it to the processed stuff.

I also understand that we live in an environment that is saturated with cheap, sugar-laden food, and in light of there being classroom celebrations almost every day, I completely appreciate that the school administrators try to point parents towards treats that are relatively nutritious and safe for all the kids to eat. They are trying to disengage the equation of sugar=fun.

So this is the treat that I came up with. It meets all the rules and is a sweet treat all the same. I made parfaits, which is a rather posh name for something so simple.

To start with, you need some vanilla yogurt and some nut-free granola. Both can be store bought but are simple enough to make at home. These are quantities for 12 parfaits.

Vanilla yogurt: Stir 2 tbsp. sugar and 1 tsp. vanilla extract into 3 cups plain whole-milk yogurt.

Nut-free granola: Toss 1 cup oats with 1/4 cup raisins, 1 tbsp. maple syrup, 1 tbsp. olive oil and a pinch of cinnamon and salt. Spread on a greased baking sheet and bake at 300F for 20-30 minutes, until golden brown. Let it cool.

To assemble the parfaits, simply layer fruits, yogurt and granola as shown in the picture. Any ripe fruits will do, but I used strawberries and blueberries because they are Lila's favorites. I used mini round food containers (found in every supermarket). They have a 1/2 capacity which is just perfect for a toddler snack and are transparent which makes for nice-looking parfaits because you can see the layers. They can be sealed shut for transport and I found to my great delight that these cups fit perfectly into a muffin tin for safe, upright transport to school! And I was able to freeze the empty muffin tin before putting in the cups so they stayed cold on the ride over. Yes, I'm channeling Martha Stewart here.

The berry parfaits were enjoyed by the kids and the teachers and it was very sweet when Lila came home with a paper birthday crown and said over and over again, "Teacher singeth happy birthday Lila".

Image: Goodreads

On the same subject of parenting, I read an interesting book recently- How Children Succeed: Grit, Curiosity, and the Hidden Power of Character by Paul Tough. The book asks the question, what factors go into making a child grow into a successful adult? And it turns out that while cognitive skills- language, math, pure IQ and thinking ability do matter, what matters even more is character skills such as self-control, curiosity and the ability to deal with failure and to persevere.

To me, this book was interesting from two perspectives: One, as a parent, how do I cultivate these meaningful character traits in my child? Two, how do we as a society establish educational programs so that children from all backgrounds can succeed and grow into more productive citizens? The book has no magic answers but it contains interesting research, case studies and plenty of food of thought.

Many parents are obsessed with academic success, starting with that baby Einstein nonsense in infancy. (As an aside, I always roll my eyes when I see a car with a "My kid is an honors student" bumper sticker and I always snicker when I see the one that says, "My dog is smarter than your honors student".) I am fairly sure that my kid will learn to read, write and count sooner or later. I'd rather help her develop a strong sense of ethics and self-discipline and mental toughness.

Books like these are complex so I am noting down three take-home lessons for myself. By the way, if you can't get a hold of this book, here's a good summary.

1. Strong parental nurturing in early childhood is strongly correlated with character development. So hold your babies and bond closely with them. Be warm and responsive to your little ones. Babies who are securely attached learn to cope with stress and this benefit lasts for a lifetime.

2. In adolescence, in contrast, coddling a child and protecting them from failure is not the right approach. They should learn to take risks, face failure, analyze why they failed and learn from it. Interestingly, children of very affluent parents who grow up facing no adversity are more likely to be maladjusted teens.

3. Steep the child in a culture of good character. Treat these traits as being as important, or even more important, than getting good grades.

That's it, friends. Have a wonderful week and see you in a few. Oh and don't forget to share your favorite parenting wisdom in the comments. We can all learn from each other.