Six Weeks in India

This is a summary of my crazy summer. My last post was about a week-long work trip to Brazil. I landed in Atlanta from Brazil and then, just 24 hours later, left on a 6 week trip to India, this time with the whole family. 

This unusually long trip came about because we accompanied V who was working on a project in IIT Madras, a storied engineering and tech school in Southern India. We planned to live/work on campus for a month, and then we tacked on additional days for visiting family elsewhere and for transcontinental travel. We visited two states on this trip- Tamil Nadu (TN) in Southern India and Maharashtra (MAH) in Western India. 

I wrote this stream-of-consciousness processing of my long India trip as a brain dump as we prepare to fly back tonight. Read on if you have a lot of time on your hands! 

The Travels

• Landed in Chennai and stayed at the Taj Wellington Mews to get our bearings (2 nights)
• Moved into our temporary accommodation- a furnished bungalow on the IIT Madras campus (8 nights). V's mom came down from Mumbai and stayed with us in Chennai for the remainder of our trip, so we were a family of 5 much of our time there
• Vellore overnight work trip for me, sans family; a 3 hour drive each way from Chennai (1 night)
• Pondicherry- family holiday; also a 3 hour drive each way from Chennai (3 nights) 
• Back on campus (2 nights)
• Panvel, Navi Mumbai for a family wedding (2 nights)
• Kolhapur to visit my parents (2 nights air bnb + 5 nights at home)
• Back to IIT campus in Chennai (9 nights), including a day trip to Mahabalipuram
• Navi Mumbai (3 nights), then fly back home tonight

The Good

• Novel experiences- Like most parents, we hope to give our kids novel experiences and introduce them to ways of living that are different from our own. We got that on this trip in a big way. In the old and bustling city of Chennai (formerly called Madras), the IIT Madras campus is an oasis at the edge of Guindy National Park. We were put up in a comfortable three-bedroom bungalow. The kitchen was basic- we could make tea/coffee on a hot plate, and there was a fridge to store fruit and milk. We walked to the guest house a block away for meals three times a day. What makes this campus unique is the wildlife living freely in it- more on that below. 
• People- Throughout this trip, I was blown away by the friendliness, generosity, and kindness of everyone we encountered. 
• Family- Both V and I have one sibling each, but we both have large extended families with masses of aunts, uncles, cousins...
• Pondicherry- We hosted a get-together for V's mom's side of the family, 14 people in all. We went to the beach and to the French quarter in Pondicherry.  But the star of the spacious and beautiful rental house was a pool and the kids spent hours every day splashing with their 10 year old cousin from Coimbatore. The property also was home to a little stray dog (dubbed "Karen" by the kids) and her two half-grown pups. These dogs instantly became part of the family for the weekend.
• Wedding- We were able to attend the traditional Maharashtrian wedding of one of my sweet nieces, the daughter of one of my favorite cousins. The kids had a blast with their cousins, staying up until 4 am chatting and playing the night before the wedding! They all held a fabric canopy over the bride as she walked in for the "muhurta" which was a special way to include them in the big moment. For the first time in over 30 years, all seven cousins on my dad's side were together in one room- we lined up oldest and youngest and took a photo- one of my favorite moments of this trip. 
• Birthday lunch- My sister and nephew also flew over for a couple of weeks, and she and I hosted a milestone birthday lunch for my parents. I got to see other cousins (from Pune, Belgaum, Bangalore) who I haven't met in years. My only regret was that events like these are hectic when hosting and you get very little time for 1:1 meaningful conversation. But it was great seeing so many friends and relatives, some after several decades.
• Kids met a new aunty- In Chennai, it was a special pleasure to get to know V's paternal cousin who is one of the kindest and most generous souls ever, and to meet her large multi-generational household. She took time out to spoil our kids silly, taking them to the movies, to arcades and escape rooms and ice cream shops and even went go-karting with them. 
• Friends- 
• My friend VK from IITB who hadn't seen me in 25 years (but looks exactly the same) bravely invited me and the whole fam to dinner at her place. It was awesome to meet her 2 kids and 2 dog-kids.
• Sweet blog friend H arranged a memorable trip to Dakshin Chitra, a wonderful open air museum in Chennai- the two of us and our collection of four kids had a great day together. Predictably, what the kids enjoyed most was playing on the playground with a plastic water bottle that they found somewhere! They also loved the hands-on pottery and mehendi. 
• I slipped away with my high school bestie M for iced tea- it was great to have a heart to heart with her and to applaud her successful business. 
• We encountered so many wonderful people outside our immediate circle of family and friends, including-
• The students at IITM who were sweet and hospitable and helped us in so many ways, including finding a bicycle for V to get around campus.
• The professional drivers who we relied upon to take us around in the chaotic traffic- so grateful to them. Every last one of them was kind and patient and made the trip so much smoother, literally and figuratively.
• Animal encounters- For my kids, this was undoubtedly the best thing about our trip. 
• Wildlife on campus- The IIT Madras campus is a unique place where people and a few species of wild animals peacefully coexist. There are strict regulations in place to protect the animals, notably the fact that when you enter campus, you have to drive very slowly to avoid hitting them. We spotted and admired-
• Spotted deer called chital (axis axis). We have a whole herd of deer living in our backyard in Georgia, and we loved meeting their cousins- these gorgeous spotted deer. Our American deer are silent but the spotted male deer make calls that sound like a person screaming! That was something new to us. Over days, the deer became very familiar and the kids gave them names. 
• Indian antelope or black buck (Antilope cervicapra). They are so beautiful. It is surreal to have animals from an endangered species walking casually beside you as you run errands. 
• A rare white blackbuck (displaying albinism) was living in the stadium across from our bungalow- we actually saw two white blackbucks while we were there.
• Once on a walk, a tiny blackbuck baby tottered up and entertained us for a solid 15 minutes as it jumped around, smacked up against a gate (facepalm), got back up, did antelope things, then found its mom and started nursing. Simply magical to see this in person with a free-living animal. 
• Interestingly, their faces reminded me of camels.
• Monkeys- There were troops of bonnet macaques (Macaca radiata). They are cheeky and audacious. 
• On our very first day there, my daughter had her drink snatched by a tiny baby monkey! But we enjoyed their monkey antics very much. 
• One afternoon, we sat safely inside the coffee shop and observed a trio of monkey moms and their babies. They are SO much like toddlers. One wandered off and started falling off the ledge, causing the weary monkey mommy to reach out and grab it by its tail. The look she gave him was so relatable. 
• There were many other creatures, including parrots, mongoose, fruit bats, giant snails, strange/ pretty bugs called "push me pull you". Less fascinating were the creatures we spotted in our bungalow- lots of ants, the occasional roach, spider, many geckos. 
• Stray animals
• Stray cats- We saw dozens of these on campus, particularly in the hostel areas where they seem to be fed and cared for by students and other campus community members. Some had their ears tipped, which indicates that there must be a trap-neuter-release program in place.
• Stray dogs- Stray dogs are absolutely not allowed on campus, to keep wildlife safe. We did see them outside, of course, but fewer than I've seen in the past. Many dogs seem to be community dogs, some wearing collars, many looking quite healthy and well-fed. The kids would go around handing out food to stray dogs whenever they could, and complaining that we forbid them to pet the dogs.
• Pet dogs
• The kids did get to pet dogs at homes of our family and friends, of course. 
• Over the travels, they enjoyed meeting new doggy friends Coffee, Toffee, Abby, Snoopy and I'm sure I am forgetting some.
• At the wedding, my cousin's dog Winnie was part of the festivities, dressed in a gold and red outfit!  
• Cow sanctuary- The kids were fascinated by the stray cattle dotting the streets, especially the nonchalance of cows who relax wherever they please (read: in the middle of thoroughfares) knowing that folks will move around them. So they loved their visit to a cattle sanctuary "panjarpol" in Kolhapur where they saw hundreds of cows and a few buffaloes. 
• They petted a ~4 month old buffalo calf for several minutes- an adorable thing with scruffy, coarse hair. After a while, the calf decided it had made new friends and started playfully head-butting my daughter! A caretaker shooed it away to play with more suitable bovine friends. 
• Madras crocodile bank trust- We stopped here on the way to Mahabalipuram. This place has been operational for 50 years and V remembers coming here as a child, and possibly seeing some of the same crocodiles! (They live for a long time.) This was a unique and fascinating experience for the kids.  
• Food: Food is always a highlight on any trip to India, and both TN and MAH have wonderful food available everywhere. 
• Shout out to the friends and family who took the time to gift us special treats from their kitchen (you know how I love food gifts)- masala puris and chivda made by R tai, Tamil treat suyyam/seeyam (stuffed dumplings) made by V's cousin, chirote (flaky pastries) made by my 80+ year old aunt from Pune, to name a few.
• My kids became obsessed with a food store named Milk Corner in Kolhapur- an emporium of snacks and treats- all impeccably made. They wanted to visit daily. 
• My daughter is a foodie and loved trying the iconic cocktail ice cream in Kolhapur (a colorful sundae), roasted corn with chili lime from a stall when out on a picnic, fresh mangoes in both states, and much more.
• Other things I'm grateful for
• Health- Other than a few days when I had a sore throat and a minor cold, we stayed healthy on this trip. That's not something I take for granted when we moved around so much in hot/ monsoon weather, and consuming food and drink from so many places.
• Related to the above, filtered water is something I was very grateful for. Everywhere we stayed, there were water filters or filtered water bubblers, so we did not have to rely on bottled water. 
• Travel between cities was surprisingly smooth given the weather. One flight from Chennai to Mumbai was diverted to Hyderabad due to exceptionally heavy monsoon rain that morning, but otherwise, all travel was on time and all baggage arrived safely. (so far- hoping the trip home goes just as well.)

The Bad

This was a fantastic and memorable trip overall, but there were many moments when my patience was seriously tested. There were days when I was willing to undergo the expense and headache of changing my flights in order to go home earlier than planned. (In the end, we just stuck it out.) I'm going to record my litany of complaints here because venting feels quite therapeutic sometimes. In time, I hope the stressful moments will be forgotten while the happy memories stay alive. 

• Too much travel, too many flights. We booked our international flights so that we would fly into Chennai, spend a month in Tamil Nadu for V's project, then spend 10 days in Maharashtra to visit family, flying out of Mumbai (TN- MAH). This fairly sensible plan got upended when my cousin dropped the news of her daughter's wedding in Maharashtra in the middle of our trip. This resulted in more domestic travel than we had initially planned (TN- MAH- TN- MAH.) 
• Unpacking and packing 10 times (yes, I counted) felt like a lot. And when travel includes events involving festive attire and gifts, you simply can't pack as light as you would like to. 
• On the plus side, I feel like I've been through a travel boot camp and am now a much more efficient and confident packer than ever before. For one thing, I have discovered packing cubes and love them for how well you can organize your stuff. 
• Bored and bickering kids- Campus is where we spent most of our days, but as visitors, we did not have ID cards and were not allowed to borrow books from the library or use the campus pool. Those two things- books and swimming- would have been a game-changer for the kids. Bored, lacking adequate physical activity, and thrown together without other activities and friends to distract them, my son and daughter bickered and fought way more than usual. 
• An unwilling traveler- My son did not want to go on this trip at all- he was completely opposed to being away from home for 6 weeks. We talked/cajoled/forced him into it, and while he enjoyed SO many things, he made his displeasure apparent. He's not a good eater at the best of times, but in India, he took it to the next level. He almost seemed to lose his appetite, and definitely did not want to eat Indian food. 
• The mood changes were dramatic. He would be a hangry little gremlin, and just getting him to eat even something small like an idli or buttered toast would be like flipping a switch and turn him instantly into a sweet and reasonable child. But it was exhausting to manage his meals and moods all day every day. Seeing my frustration and dismay, friends and relatives kept reassuring me that this is an age thing, that I shouldn't take it so seriously, and it won't be like this forever. I can only hope.
• Weather- We could only make this trip at this time of year when our kids have 10 weeks off from school for summer break. Unfortunately, it coincides with difficult weather in India- heat and humidity in TN and monsoons in MAH, making it challenging to be out and about. 
• Other challenges
• Transportation and traffic- Getting anywhere can be difficult in big Indian cities with chaotic and heavy traffic all times of day. It was particularly bad in Chennai with half the roads being disrupted for metro construction and autos/uber and equivalents being either unreliable or unwilling to go into campus. With the added language barrier, I felt a bit trapped. 
• Caregiving- This was no vacation as V and I juggled work and social commitments while taking care of the kids. Every day seemed to be full of making and executing plans, for meet-ups, for meals, for transportation, for keeping everyone comfortable and fed and entertained. I've had almost no downtime during the last two months.
• You live and learn. If this trip had been 10-14 days shorter, it would have been a whole lot sweeter. Also, I will not take an unwilling child on a trip ever again if I can help it. 

The Photo Dump

The entertaining baby buck

Black buck

"Enchanted" the stag

Visitor to the bungalow yard

Snacks by the guest house kitchen

Auroville- Karen and one of her pups

Winnie in her festive attire

My daughter's cartoon of Winnie

A bask of crocodiles

The wee hairy baby buffalo

My daughter's cartoon of the baby buffalo

Gorgeous Bagayam campus of
CMC, Vellore

Frangipane/ plumeria flowers

Stately banyan trees on campus

The pool at Auroville where the kids splashed for
hours and hours

The waterfall near Ratnagiri, Kolhapur

So much strong, milky filter coffee in TN

Breakfast in Vellore- idlis and coffee

Breakfast in Chennai- uttapam and papaya

A typical lunch of chapati, subzi, dal

Another typical meal- yogurt rice, rasam, poriyals

"Upvas patties" from Milk Corner, Kolhapur

Chirote (pastries) made by my Pune aunt P

Pasta made for my son by his doting
Chennai auntie P

Sev puri- one of many meals in
mall food courts

A display of block printing in Dakshin Chitra

Pipli work from Orissa- animal art

Mehendi at Dakshin Chitra

The preciousss- water cooler

More than anything, travel makes me utterly grateful for my home and my routines, my simple, small-town life. I look forward to spending the rest of this year focusing on staying active, eating a modest and nutritious diet, resting more than I've been able to, and getting some solitude. 

Tell me about your June and July! Got any travel stories of your own? :)